you follow me everywhere in my heart.

you follow me everywhere in my heart.
_______________________________

It is you..
who knew
me when I
was Dead..
and know me
still.

(now that
stars fill My
Head.)

You who
cease The
Monsters
Appetite..
and allow
Me to See
Within
Myself..

A Higher
Light.

I cannot
run from
this..

back into
The Dark..

because now
My Soul knows
Bliss.

(and you
follow
everywhere
In My Heart.)

j.s.h.

a light upon my scars

a light upon my scars.
_____________

In This world
of broken meters,
false hearts, and
half-ryhmes..
she is Mine..

She..(My
Parenthetic
Queen.)
who's Love
devours Time..

and puts me
in a Coffin
full of Stars..
which Shine..

(A Light upon
My Scars.)

j.s.h.

more darkness

it needs more darkness.
____________

"Not bad..but..
it needs more
darkness." he
said..twitching
his mustache like
a B-movie satan,
straight from a silent
film.

"More Darkness?"
I asked...before
adding:

"How much more?"

"until Shadows can
no longer see themselves..
and The Night consumes
every Star...hell,...make the
ABYSS cower beneath it's
covers in want of a Night-
Light!..(until everybody
wonders Who You Are.)

"Damn..that's pretty Dark."
I said,..briefly taking the
hat off of my head, and
wiping sweat from my brow.

"I only know one thing
in the world that could
make it That Dark."

"What's that?" The Beast
Asked. (curious now.)

"why.." I replied.

"(My Heart.")

j.s.h.

so much for sanity...

So much for
Sanity he thinks..
this overrated
nonsense..
gone in half a
wink..

Dead Like fake
Colors which
Mimic feelings..

Empty Smiles
to Feed The
Tragic Mimes
standing on the
street corner
climbing fake
ropes and listening
to silent bells
chime...

yes Love..
without you
it's the end
of time.

The End of
All Ends which
will never start
again...

A Heart trapped
in Space devoid
of Stars to show
Lost Sailors The
Way Back To
Better Lands..

but..isn't it
Grand?!

Swimming the
Acid Sea of
Memory devoured
by Sharks
Dead Saints
consider Family...

damn...
it truly is
the end
nardine.

(without
thee)

the source of dreams

the source of dreams.
_____________

I know where
these dreams
"come: from..
but..I don't know
the Source..

if I did...
I'd probably
Kill The gods
of course.

Kill The Concept
of Useless Piety..
that serves a Dead
End Street.

(Kill The Dead
who Try to Make
a God of Me.)

I just know I'm
a Dreamer Love..
and I made a Nightmare
of this...

shook the foundations
of Heaven Above..

and damned them
with Dreams.

(of My Devils
Kiss.)

XIII

something in me truly flawed

there's something in
me truly flawed.
++++13++++++

She tried to see
past all of My Flaws..
but..
there was nothing
left of me..
but A Faceless
Man cowering on
the floor scribbling
Fictions across The Wall
of His Heart with Shit...
Laughing Tears Of Madness
which echoed down
Winding Halls of Broken
Dreams.

How many Dead Walk
through My Head?..
I don't know..
but The Cellophane crackle
in My Ears indicates a Crowd
of The Hungry Bastards..
teeming up to exact some secret
Vengeance for Sins I don't
remember.

Yesterday Hurt Less..but
The Memory of It Now Cuts
More..because that's
How Beauty Works..
teasing the Mind with fleeting
Moments of Joy..which Become
A Nightmare once you can no
longer find it in yourself to
Relive them...Without scratching
out your Eyes in Rage.

(My Eyes are Cursed
however..so They Always
grow Back.)

__

She tried to rid me of My
Devils...but..without Them
there is Nothing in Me...

I'm The Blank Man Standing
in A Room of Shadows,..
choking on White Smoke
fuming From
an Angel's Cigarette..
pretending to Smile at Jokes I
don't Understand,..because Life's
Humor Fucking Sickens Me.

(since The Punchline Ends
in Death.)

How Many Angels Dance
Chaotic Serenades In Here?

Hard to say really...
trying to see through
tears ..their writhing
structures...
adhering to formless
forms...which let me
know...

that..

(There's Something
in Me Truly Flawed.)

jsh

as:the artist formerly known as human being.

The Artist Formerly Known as Human Being.
________________________________

As:
The Artist
(Formerly Known
as Human Being)
I Do Surrender..

For The Angels
Have Lost Faith
In Me.

and No More
Am I Their Lone
Defender!

But Rather A
Priest Of Misery.

(who Shall Practice
What I Preach.)

The Stars are
Not Mine..To
Seek..

From This Dark
where I'm Confined..

Heart and Spirit
Weak...

A Dish on
which Cruel
Demons Dine!

(did you think
it would be Different
This Time?)
_

As:
The Artist
Thirteen.

I stand
Alone.

death it does not compromise.

The Dead, (They Do
Not Compromise.)
________________________

Oh..it Truly is
No Mystery,
that I am The
Mate of Misery!

A Paradigm of
Chaos Thus!

(with Endless
Rage Inside of
Me.)

I've Broken
Pretty Angel
Hearts,..slain
100 Men at
War, and Torn
The Minds of
Saints Apart!

(yet forgotten
what I'm Fighting
For.)

Thus Demons
duck their Prideful
Heads,
when they see me
passing by..

For they KNOW
you cannot Kill
The Dead!!

(and The Dead
They Do Not
Compromise.)

j.stephen.h.

why fight a crimson noose?

Why fight a Crimson Noose.
____________________

Why fight
A Crimson
Noose
this tight..

With gangly
Arms so
frail?

Or pretend
to Love A
Summer's Night.

When Your
Heart
Freezes In
A Solitary
Hell!!

(in Want
of Genuine
Light.)
__

Why
Pretend The
Meaning seems
Clear?..

after singing
A Song like
"Mocking-
Bird Suicide,"

for all The
World to
Hear!!

The
answer
Differs
each time
I ask..

sometimes
I cry...

(other times
Laugh.)

and always
wonder if
there's more
Horror than
Humor in that!

( as
The Crimson
Noose just
Tightens.)

j.stephen.h.

I Am Thirteen

I AM/Thirteen.
_________

He (it) is
an aspect of
My Shadow
that I have
(so far)
failed at
integrating
with my
Personality
in any positive,
Meaningful Way.

It's quite the
opposite of
Meaning in fact.
It is Absurdity..
Chaos..and Burning
Rage which often
suffocates The
Heart and leaves
it pounding furiously
in My Throat..
until My Vision
Blurs..and The
World around Me
becomes a Black
and White Scene
reminiscent of A
Classic Horror
movie,..in which
the terror seems
increased by Life's
lack of Color.

Thirteen was
Beaten Into Me..
and became my
Only Protector..
but he eventually
took on a life of
His Own...coming
out at the most
unexpected of times
to destroy the few
good things I ever
strived for.

It is The Source
of My Perspective..
when you read
about Darkness,
Phantoms, and Demons
hiding behind The
Smiles of Angelic
Doppelgangers with
Devil Hearts..who
know the best way
to Stain One's Soul with
The Madness of a
Kiss!!

Thirteen is..
consuming me..
and I am..
soon to be...
Lost...

I am..

THIRTEEN.


J.S.H. (XIII?)

Into Another Eternity.

Into Another Eternity.
_______________________

Ah..Life...
A Cherry
Bowl of
Tragedies..

Spoonfed
to Walking
Suicides.

(who no
longer
remember
why they
Breath.)

With Chaos
The "Reason"
Everything
Happens For.

I was
Brave..
and Spit
out The
Seed..

only to
Be Reborn!!

(into another
Eternity.)

J.Stephen.H.
__________


alas..
short, sweet,
and Pointless..

what better
way to get
ones point
across..?

I would wish
you Good
Morning,

but my
Yesterday
has not
ended..

and Eternity
(with each
Moment)
is Lost!!

(because of
the Angel I
befriended.)
__

XIII

even in hell

Even in Hell.
_______________

Even in Hell,
his Eyes remain
stuck on Heaven,..
constantly Plotting,..
and scheming,...
pondering The Most
Absurd Approach.
(to get back In.)

The Apes have
not seen his
Desolation,..
nor skimmed
even The Surface
of that Well Insanity!,..
while sitting long
hours in Contemplation.

(Debating The Truth
of Reality.)

He retained His
Pride before,
during, and after
The Fall..
Ears burning with
detached Voices
from A Restless
Void..
Hoping in that Hole
(once resembling
A Heart) He could
Destroy The Puppets
One and All!!

(but God it seems
grew Paranoid.)

The Apes possess
a Freedom which
they use to enslave
Other Monkeys, who
are Lessers in The
Concrete Kingdom;
He understands their
Ignoble Urge,..
and feeds The impulses
of Those Heathen!
(who seem at late
to Require This Morbid
Purge.)

Yet, (even in Hell)
Heaven remains his
Fondest Enemy..
(and Only Regret.)
A Stain that Time
could never Wash
from The Fabrics
of His Memory!!

A Paradise given
to The "Apes"!!!

(who began as
Dreams Within
His Head.)

J.Stephen.H.

The Power Of Grief.

There is no Time Limit
on Grief,..but The power
of Loss seems to make
every moment Timeless.
A Dungeon where repetitive
thoughts swarm around
in The Mind, stinging
Your Heart like Angry Bees...
and you try your damndest
to find comfort in well
intended cliche's like
"they're in a better place."
or "They are watching
over you."

Yet, in Reality, you feel
Empty.

the crooked path of no tomorrow

The Crooked Path of No Tomorrow.

____________________

Lo..tis hard to
recall the Light
which Shone..

when the Face
You see in That Mirror 
of Sleep
is not Your Own!

Yet easier thus..
to weep.

(when Crying
In There Alone.)

Today is a
Dream,...empty 
and Hollow..

A Dried
Up Stream..!!!!

which ensures
more Nightmares
soon shall Follow!

(The Crooked
Path of No Tomorrow.)

Everyday I
stare This Myth
in the Face..

then I brush
it's teeth and
shave..

ready to face
some Brave New
World!

(which seems
at Best A
Masquerade.)

Lo...tis hard
to recall The Light 
that Shone..

when the Soul
Within You 
DO not Own..

but  it's
easier  thus
(in Dreams)
to Die!!!!!

(when Facing
The Nightmare
of Life Alone.)

j.stephen.h.

The Silent Protest.

The Silent Protest.
_________________

I've questioned Sanity
so often that The Voices
No Longer Listen,..and
I'm Trapped in My Empty
Head..A Prisoner to
Their Silent Protests.

My Life feels like
A Strange Poem
that I cannot seem to
Proofread,.. (or Edit.)
Full of countless Dull,
and Interesting Characters
who are all contributors
in the Construction of
My Odd Experience.

This Morning was
a Dream I had...Caught
somewhere between
Chaos and meaning..
Laughing at The Shadow
Puppets of My Heart..
because I know the
Grim Alternative.

(drowning forever
in The Tears of This
World.)

Love Visits occasionally
to Break the Monotony
of it All..but it's always
the kind of Love which
cuts more than it mends,
(for whatever reason.)
leaving me a little bit
crazier, and a Lot more
Lost.

(with One Voice
less,..to join The
Protest.)

J.Stephen.H.

once upon a yesterday's tragedy

Once Upon A Yesterday Tragedy.
______________________

Once upon a
Yesterday's
Tragedy,

there was
You, and
Half of Me.

Two Minds
Sharing The
same Reality.

(content with
Their Hearts
Captivity.)
_

Oh My Love,..
are you afraid
to Die?

To see again
The Mortal
End,..

knowing damn
well it's In Our
Mind!!

(Since Life is
mere Pretend.)
_

Once upon
a Yesterday
Romance,

I saw you
Standing by
the Sea,

Arms
outstretched
in A Beautiful
Dance,

Waving your
Angel Hand
at Me,..

but then you
were Gone in
Half A Glance!

(along with
Destiny.)

_

So now,
(upon My
Future's
Weeping)

I feel a
Darkness
in Me
Creeping,..

Blacker than
any Shadow
I have ever
seen before!

( or Created
in My Head
While Dreaming.)

and The Stars,
My Love...

Those FUCKING
STARS!!!!

(They Shine..
No More.)

J.Stephen.H.

The Moonlit Garden

the moonlit garden.
___________

All around The
Moonlit Garden,
Serpents chatter
in Angelic Tongue..

Envious that My
Soul was Pardoned!

(By the Ever-
Fallen One.)

I have eaten the
Golden Apple of
Love's Discord,

(and found it
Wanting.)

gazing across
Hell's Crimson
Shore!

(and the view
was rather
Haunting.)

Yet..what is
this which
stains the Face
of Twilight?

This Beauty
hidden from
my sight..

and how long
has it been
creeping in
Dark Shadow
beyond The
Light?!

(such beauty
I suspect is
likely but A
Parasite.)

As I sit
again in
This Moonlit
Garden,

(where Serpents
once chattered in
Angelic Tongue.)

I realize
now I won't
be Pardoned..

By "Her"!!

(The All Consuming
One.)

j.stephen.h.

the falsity of a love pretend

the falsity of a Love Pretend.
_________________________

I can feel your
hatred from across
the sea..

and (ironically)
it liberates me..

I am Myself
again..

A Willing
Prisoner of
Words,

who shall
never again
be Enslaved!!

(by the Falsity
of a Love Pretend.)

j.stephen.h.

illumination

To become Illuminated means
no less than Refusing to follow
the mindless flock of this majority,
and instead seek the Divinity
which exists in each of us.
(usually repressed by ID tendencies
that dominate Man.)

It's not about a "War between
the forces of Good and Evil.",
but rather coming to the Realization
that both forces are Necessary
and must instead be Balanced.

you cannot free hell from this man

You Cannot Free Hell From This Man.
______________________________

In spite the Angels
Perfect Plan,
She was immediately
damned..

for while you may
take a Man out of
Hell..

You cannot take
Hell out of The
Man!

His ears are Deaf
to Love's Sweet
Prayers..

and as for Soul?
Buyers Beware!

for
I've even seen
him horrify soothsayers.

(by sharing one of his
Mildest Nightmares.)

yes...

The Face of Midnight
(Herself) sours at the
mention of His Name..

as Demonic Powers
emanate from the
Entirety of His Frame!!

So..Fly Away
now My Angel..
as fast as you can!!

For while you may
Free a Man from Hell,
you could never HOPE
to Free Hell from This
Man.

J.Stephen.H.

eternity fades...

Eternity Fades.
_________

Ah..an
Angelic
Farce!

(which
creates
the Devils'
Fiction..)

how I
cherish
it in my
Heart!

(regardless
of the
Friction.)

And were
you there
Dear Flame?..

In that
Opium Dream
of Forever
that I had just
Yesterday?

(oh, but
it truly is a
shame to
know how
quickly Eternity
Fades.)

J.Stephen.H.

the fractured lines

If you read
between the
fractured lines,
you shall find
a Hypocrite
hiding behind
Context..
feigning what
he lacks inside.

Twisting the
Words of Great
Men until they
take on an Original
Appearance.

Few others see
it. because they
are damned by a
sense of Etiquette,
to spare The
Artists "Feelings"
when they should
not be so sparing
with their own.

(and this is
precisely the
reason Genuine
Artists stand
Alone.)

a fatalistic mindstab

A Fatalistic Mind-Stab.
__________________

My Love was
Written on The
Scars of Our Soul
from the Beginning
of Age,

and it's a dance
we've danced for
lifetimes.

(which always
Ends The Same.)

You can love
somebody, (even
fiercely) but at
the same Time,
We only Get That
One Love, which
is Truly Timeless,
and it is a Scene
that has played out
in some form or
another since
Everything Started.

Yes, we choose
our Fate(s)...
but True Love
goes hand in had
with A Higher
Fate Beyond Our
Control.

It is a Thing
as Constant As
The Sun,..Fate
Outside of Fate.
(which Haunts
Every New
Experience.)
__

and I'd say in a
Past Life you
stabbed me just
to shut me Up...

(Or perhaps we
both merely Died
Laughing at the
Same Time, and
decided this was
a discussion best
suited for Another
Life?)

j.stephen.h.

mind slave

mindslave
___________
If you know all
of the Rules..
yet none of the
damn words..
well..you're a
fuckin slave to
some pre-conceived
notion of what
is.

(and ironically
reality could
never Be SO
Different.)

XIII

the sky bled innocence.

the sky bled innocence.
________________

T'was a Cold
Day in Hell when
The Rage began
to Burn.

When the lights
began to Dim.

(and the World
no longer turned.)

Shots rang out
in the darkness..

whizzing past like
electric hummingbirds..

fired by the Heartless,
who kill without a
Word.
_

A small kid who
should have been
in school, (or at
home laughing at
some stupid cartoon)
was shooting an M-16
at strangers beneath
the Dead Moon..
ready to die for a
God he's never talked
to. (he was the same
age as my Nephew)

Sarg. said "light
em up."

so they did..
and I wept.

(then the Sky
Bled Innocence
I'll Never know
Again.)
_

j.s.h.

hammer of death

hammer of death.
______________

thats the interesting
thing about war...
it's drilled into your
head "you're a machine."

so you kill like a
machine...
a hammer of death
upon the heads of
all enemies who
threaten the sanctity
of some greater good
you've never personally
seen.

then your ticket is
up..and you get sent
back into the world..
and told you're "A Man."
again...

but really..you're nothing..
nothing but a machine
walking amongst men.

(with the hammer of
death pounding in your
head.)

jsh

the whisper man.

The Whisper Man.
________________

Low beneath the Desert Sun..
(in a far off barren land)
bodies lay piled one by one.
(victims of the Whisper Man.)

The Whisper Man,
The Whisper Man...
you never hear him come..

The whisper man..
the whisper man.
(no time to fight or run.)

So say your prayers in
The Dark, To whatever God
you claim...

For the Whisper Man shall
stop your Heart, with bullet,
gun, or blade!

The Whisper Man
The Whisper Man...
(Sam, beware The
Hell You Made.)

Damned!!...Damned...
(Be The Whisper Man.)

J.S.H.

some invisible star.

some invisible star.
_______________

Interesting how it's
spent so much time
looking for reason
in an unreasonable
world.

Sharing sins with
those Mighty Meat-
Puppets who feed
their Tragedies to
an Invisible Star.
(oh..Star is it?)

Yeah..probably A
Star of some sort.
The Black, all-consuming
kind that sucks bright life
from the World like
marrow from a rotting
bone.

Spitting back scores
of Question Marks formed
by every Prayer man has
ever Lied. (which encites
the laughter of frauds.)

yet he who laughs
last?

is probably Alone.

(like God.)

j.stephen.h.

nine/eight/thirteen

nine/eight/thirteen.
_______________

9-8-13
Bang..
(he bailed.)

I think
I'm going to
die Forever.

(if the good
leave young.)

A Sad
Clown in
The Circus
of Hell.

(Feeding
Frowns to
Angelic Ones.)
_

I saw a
young man
today who
reminded me
of Him.

His Words
were Merry,
yet His Eyes
were Grim..

staring off
into an unseen
Distance.

(Beyond A
World that
seems Pretend.)

I'm sure
a Similar
Bang is
waiting to
sound behind
those Tragedies.

Another One
Who seeks to
Flee..

and leave
Behind A
Fellow Clown.

(who Dies
Forever Like
Me.)

J.Stephen.H.

without her

Without Her.
_____________

I'm 
trapped
in the 
Eternity
of this 
moment..

Eyes 
Scratched
Open..

Mind 
bleeding
Tragedies 
into The 
World.

(Drowning 
in the Waves 
of Loves Odd 
Ocean.)

Wondering
what it is
about This
Girl?!!

(who seems
to feed me
an Angel's 
Potion.)
_

Is it All 
a Silly 
Dream?...

With "Me"
a Thought..
contained in
The Mind of
some Never-
Ending Universe?

and 
If so..
Let it
Be!!

For every
other
Existence
would Be 
a Nightmare!!

(without Her.)

J.Stephen.H.

the house of realities

The House of 1,000 Realities.
_____________

Welcome to The
House of 1,000
Realities..
where Bold Men
come to burn away
the Banners of their
Sanity,

and surrender to
those voices in
their head...
which are oft
but mental fictions.

(yet sometimes
Spirits of The
Dead.)

I built this house
in a cave below
the mountain,
to represent all
things lost, or
hidden.

An ever flowing
subconscious
Fountain!

(where
Cosmic Truths
lie trapped
in Prison.)

ah, Dogma..it
is sincerely
the needle
which blinds
the inner eyes
of simple minded
sheep.

Who spend
their lives
asleep...

and blaming their
damnation on
a non-existent
Karma.

I pity them,
nearly as much
as those voices
of The Dead!

(who are
Living Fictions
in My Head.)
__

Welcome to
The House of
1,000 Realities,

where Found
Men come to
Burn the Banners
of their Sanity...

and see,..clearly!

(what the world
within could be.)

j.stephen.h.

in spite the villainy of themselves.

In Spite the Villainy of Themselves.

_________________________

(This Is What My
Subconscious Reveals.):

One part loss 

of innocence..

(two parts 

corruption at the

hands of time...)

and three degrees of

Chaos indestructible...

all proven to be folly,

when she sighs words

from that secret place in

her mind, where angels

dance with fools and

lick their wounds till

they become jolly

once again...Laughing

at Pain like Heroes

in Love Who (in spite

the Villainy of 

Themselves)

fine something Perfect

in One Another...

To Save...

and Taste...

and Savor.

I Cherish these moments

when I Bloom for You...

LIKE YOU...

a Whisper in a Voiceless

Room who speaks on it's

own behalf, while drowning

in a Sea of Blind Eyes

who could never see what

lurks behind the Madness

we make of Loves Sweet

Sanity!

I've admitted defeat more

often than Love, and this

often defeats me...

because I 've surrendered to

that innate impulse to KNOW
what motivates a Thorn..

moreso than Some Happy
Rose...

who's cheeks are flushed...

like Snake-berries crushed

into A Sour Wine of
Multi-Seasonal Sorrow.

One Part Salvation Now!...

Two Parts curiosity...

(and eternal satisfaction

in the inevitability of our

Soul's Embracing.)

J.Stephen.H.

many coffins i have known.

many coffins i have known.
__________________

Many Coffins
I Have known..
Many Dungeons,
Pits, and Cells..

Yet I've
ALWAYS
Come Out
Alive.
(Alone.)

(Chewing on
The Nails.)

The Shadows
are My Favorite
Bedfellows..

we Dance
Merrily in
Hell Each
Night..!

In Spite of
Angels who
scoff and
Bellow.

(Tis THEY
who shall
Never KNOW
Delight.)

J.Stephen.H.

an artist of merit.

an artist of merit.
_____________

Ah..yes...I'm Successful
now. An Artist of Merit
lauded for his "genius".

(but should I bother to
mention that it's just
a series of cleverly
constructed rantings
which perpetually
baffle me?)

Gentlemen..Please,..
There's No Need
for the Red
carpet..

The color red tastes
ugly to me..

and leaves a shitty taste
on my tongue for weeks...
like stale love left out
in the sun for too long.

(until it acquires the stench
of Rotted Meat.)


oh..but
They Love
Me!!

(Yay...)

Well
It's good
to be
Loved..

(I guess.)

Love is a Drug...
(better than Hugs..)
that I Snort in lines..
and drink like wine...

Before Killing it
Deader Than Time!

(because the
withdrawals
are a bitch.)

j.s.h.

Love. (and it's many Compositions.)

Love. (and it's many compositions.)
________________________

Love
(and its
many compositions)
is ill-defined
by mere words,
poetry, and
Superstitions..

For it is
(at core)
A Matter of
Self Conviction..

which may sooth
and mend the
Savage Soul!

(but Sometimes
lead it to Perdition.)

Tis often a
Sacred, Noble
Force,

capable of
leaving the
Strongest Panting..

but At Times
a Shadows Grim
Discourse!

(seeking an
Audience to
it's Ranting.)

Lo..The Human
Head (from many
angles) I have
seen!,..

The Right...
Wrong, and
Somewhere-in-
Between!

Yet Never have
I met an Angel!

(who could
Silence thus
MY Endless
Screams.)

I know (now)
Love...Thou
TRULY HATE
ME..

but why can
I No Longer
Grieve?..

It seems my
Soul is quickly
fading!

(with HELL
the only thing
I can Believe.)

J.Stephen.H.

soap box pulpit

Soap Box Pulpit.
________________

She looks so Beautiful up there
on Her Soap-Box Pulpit. Preaching
Love's Hell to Fellow Broken Hearted
Souls.

A Goddess really. Unfortunate enough
to Love some Tyrant. (who filled her
Head with so many Rotten Holes.)

The denial in those Pretty Eyes is
masked well by her contrived indifference
towards Him. But everyone knows her
Soul still aches to be mended by His
Poisoned Touch,..and this little Hate
Speech she now performs is a Farce
to conceal the intensity of Her Burning
Love.

I watch in sad amusement from the silence
of my Lonely State,..likely the only spectator
who knows the depths of Truth she keeps
contained within that Shredded Heart...

Yet I'll never speak up again, or bother
trying to change anything.

(Being that I Am The Monster Who
Tore It Apart.)

J.Stephen.H.

a lyrical god

A Lyrical God.
____________

It must be a
new trend to
see how lame
and unmetrical
one can be, in
the composition
of (supposed)
Poetry.

Eliot Laughs.

(but Longfellow
Weeps.)

shit..
I've heard
children on
the playground
utter more
lyrical sounds
than some of
this nonsense
now coming
around.

see here
now little
Miss Peep...

Try to compete
with my metrical
feats and I'll
see to it quick
that you always
get Beat.

For I little
lamb am a
Lyrical God,
and your efforts
are damned.

(by the Fact you're
a FRAUD.)

J.Stephen.H.

miserable to be the stone

Miserable to Be The Stone.
___________________

It seems as though
the part of me that
was beginning to
feel again has faded
back into the cold
recesses of My Head.

Why must I pick
apart the world
like a scab?

Surrounding myself
with The Dead.

Unable to smile
or laugh.

Must it all be a
"process" for me?

Mechanical
simulations going
through various
Motions within
a Vast Machine?

Void of anything
which resembles
or constitutes
"Soul."

It's miserable
to Be The Stone
I once found
Comfort In.

(Damned by
The same
Indifference
that I once
Extolled.)

j.stephen.h.

almost a year

Almost a Year.
(Brother.)
_____________

Your one Year Anniversary
is coming up.  21 days to go.
It's hard to believe it's almost
been a Year.

Almost a year of playing Old
Songs we once listened to.

Almost a Year of wondering
if I could have done anything
to Change it.

Almost a Year of watching your
Sons eyes fill with Sorrow at
the Mention of You.
_

Almost a year with these Memories
of your Blood on my Hands, and
Images of Bone Fragments littering
the dirty carpet.

(Almost a Year of wishing someone
else had cleaned up the Shit.)

_

Almost of Year wondering where
that Little Boy went who used to
follow me like a Puppy asking
questions about everything under
the Sun.

(Almost a Year spent searching for
the Bastard who Sold you The Gun.)

_

Almost a Year of Acid tears forcing
themselves through Eyes squeezed shut..
trying to Be strong when I feel weakened
by the Absurdity of The Universe.

(almost a Year of still seeing your
ashes spread Across A Field of Dirt.)

_

Almost a year of spending days and
nights on End trying to Drink away
The Pain of not KNOWING what
I'm supposed to DO.

(almost a Year of Wishing I had
Joined you.)

__

fuck it..

Almost an ETERNITY of ENDLESS
NIGHT.

(Hoping for the Light without Hope
There Will EVER be an END IN
SIGHT.)

fuck it...
Fuck it..
Almost a
Lifetime of Pain
and Plight.

J.Stephen.H.

my soul such beauty tempts.

My Soul Such Beauty Tempts.

___________________

Tis a Madness..

Yes!..A Madness

to be Sure. 

(but Purity  

nonetheless.)

As I sit in

Silence waiting

to Procure..

another Soul to

Tempt.

(and test.)

Who is this

Angel in Human

Guise?

With Raven's

Hair, and

Emerald Eyes?

I've never

(till this 

moment)

seen such

Perfection 

before!!

(this Side of

Paradise.)

Tis Madness..

Yes!..Madness

to Be Certain.

(but LOVE
nonetheless.)

As I sit

Behind Deaths

Onyx Curtain..

waiting to

Confess.

That it is

"MY SOUL" 

This Beauty 

sorely Tempts!

So Be Proud Thus...

Thou Angel born

of Heavens Highest

Level!

(Because You have

single handedly

stolen the Heart

Of The Devil.)

J.Stephen.H.

upon a minds abandon

Upon A Minds Abandon.
____________________

This Morning
(upon a Minds
Abandon)
I saw (within
My Soul's Eye)
A Hateful Phantom..
Who pointed at
The Broken Clock,
and Made a Wish.
(for Me To Die.)
_

The Sorrow that
I Laughed echoed
(unproductively)
off Crimson Walls
of Superficial Shame;
As The Many
Merry Minions of
My Faith (concealed
as Misery) sought
Other Souls on
which to Feast!!
(and Blame.)
__

Mmm...Insanity
for Breakfast...
A Feast befit The
Depressive King
of Cynical Comedy!!

Tis He who Hangs
The Mighty Heroes
on That Tree of
Destiny.

(from Their Crooked
Puppet Strings.)

But it is Tasteless..
Tasteless!!...
This Predictable Plot.
(so Seasoned with Irony)
For Every Puppet Looks
like Me!!

Dead Men who's
Ivory Faces never
Rot.

(though Their Hearts
No Longer Bleed.)

J.Stephen.H.

tonight the grim reality

Tonight the Grim Reality.
___________________

Hell, who
am I kidding.
I'll never get
over You.

You takes
stabs at me,
I take stabs
back..

With Every
thought
inside me
burning..

(and My
Heart beat
inexact.)

You really
are so petty
you know..

and I'm
really an
asshole.

But the
distance
increases
my sorrow,
and stains
me to The
Soul.

Bellus
Angelus
no More
I guess..

Now
Amorous
Enemy!

Last week?
Words of
Tenderness.

Tonight...
(The Grim
Reality.)
_

XIII

black heart darkly beautiful

Black Heart Darkly Beautiful.
_________

It's
So pitiful..
and
childishly
un-metrical..
how you
bring your
Business
before The
World.

(and make
yourself a
spectacle.)

"Woe is
me?"..

No...

Woe to
Thee!!

(All Hearts
and Minds
Are Edible.)
__

Tis' a
Weakness
to Be Sure..

to feel
The sting
of every
Syllable..

while
casting the
Illusion You
are Pure!

When in
Truth you're
Unoriginal..

And lack
the Courage
to Endure.

(A Black
Heart Darkly
Beautiful.)
_


(I suggest
Warring with
less capable
Artists next
time around.)

XIII

the 666th psalm

The 666th Psalm.
_____________

Pain is My Shepherd,
I shall not Want.

It maketh me to lie
down in Burning
Pastures...

It leadeth beside
The Dead Waters.

(It corrupteth my
Soul.)

It leadeth me in the
Path of Darkness
for Hell's Namesake.
_

Ye as I stalk
through The valley
of The Shadow of
Sin..

I Shall Fear no
Evil...

For it is "In"
Me.

Thy Pitchfork and
Horn shall comfort
Me..

Thou preparest A
Palace before to
Punish My Enemies...

Thou annointest
my Head with
Fire..

My Chablis
runneth over..

so that
Surely Wickedness
and Pestilence
shall follow me
all the days of
My Life,

and I WILL
Rule in the
house of
DEATH..

Forever...

Amen
(Nema)..

XIII

the damned ones feast

The Damned Ones Feast.
_________________

What is She?
(I ask confused)
Love's Silhouette.
(or Heartless Muse.)
The Last regret!!
(of a Soul Abused.)

I Tried to
walk a Better
Path, and see
The Shining Sun,
but Evil stains
My Head of Wrath.
(and Poisons Everyone.)
_

Thus All
are Sheep,
before my
Slaughter,
The Damned
Ones Feast!!

(washed down
with Holy Water.)

XIII

the sanest of all.

The Sanest of All.
______________

Tis the Sanest
of All who gives
Those Twilight
Voices their moment
in The Sun,

and Dances with
Misery at The
Madman's Ball!

(plucking the Wings
from Angels All
in Fun.)
_

Spare ME Love
your Hopeful Wishes,..
for the Stars No
Longer Listen..

and Hell fills
Every Vision!!

(while Slit Wrists
by Firelight glisten.)

_

Hear now
The
Words of
Ancients
Spoken,..

Over a
Burning
Circle
Broken..

Then Swim
with Me My
Fellow
Damned!,..

across This
Crimson
Ocean.

(littered with
The Corpses
of Dead Lambs.)
_

For..it is The
Sanest of All
who Admits,
(with Gladness)

That Love
Infects The
World With
Madness.

J.Stephen.H.

the 1 percenters

The 1 percenters.
_______________

What exactly is
wrong with these
1 percenters?..

(aside from the
likely reality
they are 99%
Flawed.)

And why do
many crave
to know that
Life Least
Lived in
service of
Others?

(while hiding
behind an
accumulation
of Senseless
Laws.)
__

There are no
Stars upon the
Earth in Rule..

they are mere
Clods of dirt
who artificially
Shine..

as Wisdom
proceeds
from the Lips
of Those
said to
be Fools!

(who preach
that within
each is found
A Paradise.)
_

I shall cast
no Pearly
Lots before
thee..

Oh Noble
Swine..

Idolators..

Perpetuators of
heresy!

(who have yet
to see the Great
Divine.)

I simply look..
listen..and
observe..

(A Childish wisdom
which if heeded
would allow us
ALL TO Shine.)

j.stephen.h.

the shadow

the shadow wins.
_________________

the
shadow
wins.
it always
wins..
but also
sees..
beyond
the glamour..
and pretend..

(the
bullshit
of these
Beasts.)

hearts..
they are
worthless..
the shadow
realizes such..

but
if you
embrace
the
Darkness...
you can
USE IT.

(but deny the
weakness
that is LOVE.)
__

welcome
to never
was..

it's
peaceful
here..

no one
goes,
or comes..

and the silent
rule..

(while loves
​VICTIMS
choke on tears.)

_

the shadow
has won...

(it always
does.)

J.S.H.

less than were dreams. (a dark duality.)

Less Than Were Dreams.
(A Dark Duality.)
____________________

Newly returned from
The Last Goodbye..
it nervously frets and
paces..

to avoid the Many
Razor-Blade-Eyes,..
and Angered Faces.

Where has it Been?..

What Has it SEEN?..

and How Many
were Friends?!!!

(less Than Were
Dreams.)
__

You cannot Pimp
Out that Whore called
Destiny,.. or expect
her not to come back
Broke,..Mad,.. and
Laughing!

I know this to
Be True..

it goes
without saying.

(not that I was
asking.)
___

It Loves a Far
Off Beauty..

She is Perfection
clothed in Pretty
Skins of Secret
Midnight Tragedy.

But "I" LOVE
Her Sincerely!!

since She Is A
Better,.. Less-
Broken Part of
Me!

Or....Us..
or...

(We.)

J.Stephen.H.


Many will likely
assume (and MAY
be correct in their
assumptions) that
such madness cannot
be faked..regardless
of the Inventive Powers
possessed by The Artist.

("IT" would likely agree..
don't you think...?)

Deep down...everyone
has an It,..or a Shadow
which is either successfully
integrated into their personality,
or becomes a mere Entity all it's
own ..that eventually consumes
one's Ability to pass themselves
off as "Rational."

But perhaps we're all just
Glorified Animals..
with Bigger Brains than
Those Lower Beasts
in This Tragic Kingdom ..
who rely on Natural
Instinct?

(perhaps IT will
never know.....)

the shadow enemy.

The Shadow Enemy.
______________

Deep Within..
I feel an Enemy..

A Shadow
Self which thus
Consumes Me.

Leaving nothing
good behind.

(creating gaps
in Memory.)
_

I woke up
in a strange
place,

wearing foreign
clothing..

With Bruises
on My Face,

and a haunted
sense of
Inner Loathing.

(Absent
from The Light
of Grace.)
____

I Fear Now
Where Tomorrow
might be Leading.

So much
I Battle Sleep.

Enslaved By
This Shadow
Enemy!..

Lurking
Somewhere
in The Deep.

(staining
The Soul
Within Me.)

J.Stephen.H.

beauty through the looking glass.

Beauty Through The 

Looking Glass.

_________________

I saw her Through

the Looking Glass..

as Winter's Chill

crept softly in My

Head.

Her Smile?

A Ghost from 

My

Heart's Past.

(with A Laugh

 so

Pure it Raised

The Dead.)

__

I seek to

Touch Beyond

The Panes..

(Without
Breaking

Sacred
Memories.)

and feel again

those Gentle

Rains!

(which 
washed All
Hateful  Devils'
From Me.)
__

Beauty..

Let Me 

In..

(Or Join Me

Here.)

For surely

Sacred 

Summer

From Curse'd 

Winter

We Can Make!

As I 

Drink away

Your Angels

Tears,

and you Free

My Head of

Snakes!

for

This Glass

which seems

to separate,..?

(is MEANT

for us to 

Break.)

j.stephen.h.

For you..

with Love,

MY Goddess.

to what is known of hell.

To What Is Known Of Hell.
______________________

I don't want
to feed This
Darkness to
You..

Or Watch you
Suffocate as
Walls Consume..

Nor shall
I Slaughter
Those Sweet
Eyes!!

(which seem
Divorced from
Some Lost
Moon.)
_

Many
Lonesome
Dreams
were Shared..

By Our
Souls.

(and
something
Else.)

But Nothing
Now could
thus Compare!

(To What
is Known
Of Hell.)

j.stephen.h.

minimalism

Minimalism.
___________

I Break it
All Down
into it's
Smallest
Possible
Representation.

Eating Words
like Cake before
the Fattened Queen.

(who Needs
it Not.)
_

And in
This..
I Find My
Depth.

(spitting out
what Time
Forgot.)
___

J.S.H.

with self the only enemy

with self the only
______________

I Don't
Need To
Be  Told
that All is
Won!

(For Me
To Know
I've Lost.)

Or Shown
The Brightest
Morning Sun!

(When Night
has Payed
The Cost.)
__

Nor do I
Crave A
Forceful
Tear..

Within This
World of
Many.

To Each
is Granted
Endless Years!

(With Self
The Only
Enemy.)

J.Stephen.H.

i am not the catcher.

I Am Not The Catcher.
_________________

How Easy
it was for
Me (my Love)
To Die.

and Break
The Bonds
of Discontent.

(which dims
The Inner-Eye.)
_

But Harder
To Lose You...

(and hardest to
THINK.)

Wandering
Through That
Rotten Rye!
__

I am
Not The
Catcher;

as you
are not
The Fool.

And Neither
Do Our Lone
Hearts Fester!!

(In Want
of Love To
Rule.)
__

j.s.h.

a man is not a man.

A Man is Not a Man.
_____________

Top of Days
For Which We
Insinuate...
(Something
Akin To Change.)

Promising
A World
Without
Chains.

A Life
where
One does
NOT
Hesitate..

To Show
His Pain.
___



Here A
Man May
Pass his
Kisses..

Without
Falling
Victim to
That Ancient
Criticism
which declares
A Man Is
Not a Man...

(unless he
Hides his
Wishes.)

and Kisses
Are Not
Real!

(unless
We Fold
and Give
Ourselves
Unto The
Land.)

j.s.h.

(to be cont.)

die-song

How many Times
now have I Tried
This Particular
Thing?

To "Give up The
Ghost" in Hopes that
Better Ghosts shall
Come?

(more now than I
dare Remember.)

"More than Night
has Known the
Sun!!"
________

I have EATEN
many Condolences...
but not once consumed
a Plausible Explanation
for Why Anything should
Prosper.

Yes...(Death)
I Kiss You.

(and your Lips
Provide Me with
more than Anyone
Else Could Offer.)

here in the cave

Here in The Cave.
_____________________

It's interesting how a
Shoulder, or an Ear
can make all the Difference
between Salvation, or
Damnation..
Lending The Heart
to Still Hope that in
Spite of the Darkness of
This World, a Light still
remains somewhere down
in this Cave; where We
Confuse our Shadows
to Be Things of Substance..
Watching them Dance
around on Ancient Walls
like Puppets of A Secret
Design.

But alas..The Puppets
are Many, and The Lights
are few.. So few in fact that
any anticipation of them
making a ripple in this Black
Sea of Existence seems
improbable. (to say the least.)
_

Being that Life itself
is about adaptation..
in which the Existing
Form must constantly 
modify itself and adapt
to meet the demands of
an ever-changing Struggle..
The only real option I
have..is to become a
Blacker Shadow than
Those Which Currently
Rule The Cave.
_

I Hope To Be Spared
The regurgitations of
various Failed Theologies
to contest My Ominous
View.

For I've consumed most
of them..and find them
lacking.

There is No God above 
me Laughing.. Nor Devil
Below me Plotting..
waiting to feast upon 
the remnants of my 
Damned Soul.

I Stand Alone..

All Of This 
and
Nothing 
forevermore.

(Here in My Cave.)


J.Stephen.H.
__

a cancer beneath the sun

A Cancer Beneath The Sun.
____________________

What Joy..
What Fun...
Soaking up
Cancer 
Beneath The
Sun.

But often
we Break
Mirrors in
Houses
of Mirth!!

(Then feed
The Shards to
Unholy Ones.)
__

I Celebrate
My Alien
Rebirth..
Haunted by
an Immense
Sense of Pride;
As The Angels
Coffin fills with
Dirt!!

And most
 Stars
Commit
 Suicide!

some fell...
some jumped..

(ALL DIED.)
_

What joy??
What Fun?!!

Life
is a Cancer
Beneath The
Sun.

Where Humor
Reflects an
Optimists Pain!..

Still

(DRINK UP
EVERYONE.)

J.Stephen.H.
__________________________

MORE DARK TO COME

More Dark To Come.
__________________

More Dark to
Come My Untrue
Love.

More Hell to
See, and Life
to Fear.

More Lies You
Crave like
Perfect Drugs!

(More Devils
whispering
in Your Ear.)
_

More Lonely
Nights to Spend
in Silence.

More Time
Wishing I was
There.

More Thoughts
of Self-Inflicted
Violence!

(More Crying
in your Pillow
Scared.)
_

More of What
you seek The
Least.

More searching
for The Truth
in Vain.

More of My
Black Heart's
Disease!!!!!

(More Days
of Loss,
and Endless
Pain.)

J.Stephen.H.

(ALEA IACTA EST..)

beer thirty

Beer Thirty.
______________

My Father was a
Good man, in his
own kind of way..
Who sometimes
used His Fists to
Teach lessons he thought
would keep me safe.
(from making the
same mistakes he
made.)

I remember it was
always Beer-Thirty,
Morning Night and
Day.

With Mom in The
Background sweeping
Floors, or Cooking Meals,
and teaching us to Pray.
_

I was The Clown...

Who Read Books
and Told Jokes
to conceal my Sorrows
from Everyone.

The Kid who didn't
really Grow UP,
so much as DOWN.

(with Passions
Burning like The
Sun.)
_

My Friends were
Dead Men who
(in their own lives)
often shared my
Plight..

I Read their
Wonders
Every Night!

Consuming
Tales Of
Chivalry until
The Morning
Light!

Wondering
in My Jester
Heart if I would
Grow to
be a Knight?

(who Set The
Wrong Things
Right.)
_


My Dad died
while I was
a Young man
still trapped in
His Mental
Prison..

in his Hands
was a can of
Pabst Blue
Ribbon..

(we
Buried it
with him in
His Grave.)

But it's
still Beer-
Thirty Here...
morning, night,
and day!

(Because his
Fists taught me
to Make the Same
Mistakes He Made.)
_

J.Stephen.H.
____________

This piece is a
matter of perspective,
and does not reflect
the life of the Author
by any Means.

These Nightmares in my Eyes. (They Dim No More.)

These Nightmares in My Eyes.
(They Dim No More.)
_____________________

These
Nightmares
in My Eyes..  

(They Dim
No More.)

As You Show
me A Better
World where
The Clocks Eat
Not Our Sunrise..

and I don't
Beat my Head
on Broken Doors!

(which were
Locked on me
Three Lives
Before.)

During Exile
From God's
Paradise.
_

You saw
The Monster..
and called
Him Beautiful..

(Honest in
your Sweet
Opinion.)

Till He
Smiled
Shyly Like
A Fool!

Casting
Off His
Evil Minions..

To Take
A Queen.

(and Share
His Rule.)
_

Not Half
Happy were
the Clocks..

(nor those
Demons from
The Deep.)

So Thus
They Sought
to Make My
Heart Stop!

(and Force
Penance for
The Hell I
Reaped.)
_

Yet Redemption
comes in many
Forms..

sometimes
Words, and
sometimes
Fists..

My own
Cam Riding
On A Storm!,

(Starting
with an Angels
Kiss.)

and eased
My Frowning
Face Forlorn!

(To show me
Many Moments
Bliss.)
_

These
Nightmares
in My
Restless
Eyes..

Dim My
Heart No
More..

nor do
Those Grim
Clocks eat
Our Sunrise!

For Opened
Now is
Heavens
Door!

(with YOU..
My Only
Paradise.)

J.Stephen.H.

wishful thinking

Wishful Thinking.
_____________
 
My "Wishful
Thinking"...
alas.

(left me
laughed at
by The Stars
from their
Black Home.)

Leading me
to Wonder..

(as I sit here
Drinking)

Is it My Fate
to be Alone?

(rubbing
Ancient Scars.)
_

Did you think
it would be
Different?

(My Shadow
asked.)

That her
Smile was
for you
in Fact?

"Think again
My Friend."

"Thou Art
Beast."

(and it's
only Solitude
after that.)

J.Stephen.H.

dead or sleeping saints

dead or sleeping saints.
__________________

Our Love
goes together
like Wrists
and Razor
Blades..

with Smiles
cast on Gloomy
Days.

To Find
God!

(Without
Prayers
Made to
Dead or
Sleeping
Saints.)
_

Gravity
pulled
us
Together..

but
Nothing
can tear
us apart.

(So Dear
You Are to
my Black
Heart.)
_

You make
me a Higher
Power...

and In Your
Arms I
Know what
God is To
Mortals,

(yet still
Humble
Myself before
the Majesty
of Your Grace.)

Infected with
a Perfect Love
which grows
stronger by the
hour.

(and goes
together like
Wrists and
Razor Blades.)

j.stephen.h.

the hell of it all.

The Hell of it All.
________________

Today, Her Smile
is Starlight bouncing
off Empty Walls;
trying not to Cry.

(Laughing at the
Hell of it All.)

So I try to comfort
Her (with Pretty Lies.)
but she sees through
Me.

(and Breaks my
Crystal Ball.)
_

Has anyone else
been to Loves
Circus, and rode
the scariest Ride?

(which for me would
be the Tunnel of
Heart.)

OR Climbed that
Fabled Tower of
Purpose?

Only to Fall
because of Pride?!

(few Clowns
remain laughing
after Dark.)
_

I can do Nothing
Tonight to help
her find Her Grace...
which would make
the Starlight real
again.

(and Wash The
Midnight from Her
Face.)

I simply stand
in silence, directing
my thoughts at
these Empty Walls.

(which seem
unsettled when
I pace.)

Laughing at
The Hell of
it All.

J.Stephen.H.

The Fault in Our Stars.

The Fault
in Our Stars.
__________

The Fault in
Our Stars,
is that we
seek Fault
in Them..
anytime
Heaven
Denies Our
Heart A
Wish.

(Unheeding of
The Mystery
To Life's
Design.)

Yet in
themselves
they are
Perfect.

(Crafted by
two Loving
Hands Benign.)
_

There truly
are  No
Accidents.

(Though
Chaos
seems
Supreme.)

For all is
based on
God's Intent!

(and We
are but His
Dreams.)
_

The Fault
in our World,
is that we
often seek
Fault in One
Another.

Unaware that
it's an Oyster
full of Pearls!,

where ALL
are Mothers,
Fathers,
Sisters,
abd Brothers.

Products of
The Great
Divine!!

(Shaped By
Two Loving
Hands Benign.)

J.Stephen.H.

Phantoms of Speculation

My Love..

While I try ridding
my Mind of those
Dark Phantoms of
Speculation which
Haunt me with so
many dreaded and
fearful possibilities,
I am powerless to
The Shadows of
Doubt lingering upon
the walls of my
Heart Tonight.

Is it Madness?
Or Purity?
This Magnetism
Drawing you
To Me, and I to
You?

At times I think
The Darkness
in Me seeks to
Drown in your
eyes of Blue!,
and Die That
Happy Death
most are never
fortunate enough
to know.

(yet during other
moments This
Cynical Beast
Believes that
NOTHING is
True, and I am
merely Killing
Lost Time My
Soul once sought
to Borrow.)
__

Either way I've
become Convinced
that One Mans
Art is another
Lunatics Pitiful
Ranting,..
and these
burning rocks
(dreamers
call Stars)
grant Wishes
for everyone
but Me!

(am I the ONLY
ONE who
feels their Mockery?)
_

well...it seems
the Phantoms of
Speculation have
evolved into Living
Nightmares of Hopeless
Reality for me Now..
so there's really nothing
left to do but sleep,
or wake up...or do
whatever it is The
Living Dead do whenever
they have nothing else
to do but abandon such
foolish notions as Loves
Profound Possibility.
so...my sweet..

(enjoy this senseless
ranting....)

j.stephen.h.

babylon the whore

babylon the whore.
__________________

Welcome to The
Land of Babylon
The Whore!

Where the Rich
often prosper from
The Blood of The
Poor.

See her Fornicate
with Every Foul
Thing!

(while luring
Saints into her
Lair of Suffering.)
_

I have drank
of your Wine
at times,

but have never
been intoxicated,
(or impressed)

because I find it
overrated,

(once you read
between the
lines)

and there are
much greater
maidens to
caress!

(who do
not poison
the Mind.)
_

So when I
see you fornicating
with all Nations
who have fallen
from Paradise,

I will turn away
my humbled Eyes!

And look onward
towards the Golden
Skies!

(where Heaven
waits in Earnest.)

j.stephen.h.

These Faces.

Drowning in These Faces.
______________________

I Tire of
Drowning
in These
Faces, for
Days and
Nights on
End..

(with Shadow
Mornings in
Between.)

and
Looking
in The
Strangest
Places,

For A
Love that's
not Pretend.

(or an
Unobtainable
Dream.)
_

The World
(in Youth)
seemed Brighter,
when I was
a Foolish Child..

until I became
an Outsider,
who Wanders
through the Wild.

(Lonely on The
Inside but convincing
with These Painted
Smiles.)
_

The Faces
Consume Me..
like Black Tides
sweeping across
an Endless Sea..

(which is oddly
Never Moving.)

And everyday
feels like Drowning!

(with Shadow
Mornings in
Between.)

J.Stephen.H.

That Beast Within Me Creeping.

That Beast Within Me Creeping.
_______________________

I Read it and began
Weeping..
not so much for the
sake of Cliche's,
but rather because
I hadn't been Sleeping,

(a Single Wink
in Days.)

and didn't know
how to rightly
accept That Beast
Within Me Creeping!

(Deep Inside My
Brain.)
_

"Null and Void."

(The Letter said.)

"On Orders from
The King of Misfit
Toys, you must
Return to The Land
of Living-Dead."

(But I've always
been a Prisoner
There.

Somewhere In
My Head.)
_

I tore the Clause
to Shreds and
spent..

at least a Quarter
Century Dreaming..

yet woke up
feeling Great
Unrest.

(Because The
Beast was never
fond of Sleeping.)

J.Stephen.H.

death takes a vacation.

Death Takes A Vacation.
__________________

After seeing Death
on the beach getting
a suntan..

I was forced to
recant my earlier
statements about
it "Paling in
Comparison to
The Horrors
caused by Man."
_

Don't you Hate it
when that happens?..

When Irony Howls
Like a Beast and
successfully destroys
everything you once
Believed?

It almost makes
me dread any sense
of Human Interaction,
and View this World
as A Disease...
that only Death
can Cure.

(well once He
gets back from
Vacation.)

J.Stephen.H.

in this madhouse ranting

In This Madhouse Ranting.

________________

Creation and 

Destruction go

hand in hand with

me..

(resembling A
General Dysfunction
one can witness in

any Family.)

and They have their

fights, of course,..

sometimes Setting
The World On Fire..

.

but (In The End)
they always  wind
up Hugging!

_

I seek to learn

Old concepts in

order to Destroy 

them with Newer .

Thoughts..

Because My Head is

A Church where

Shadows Worship.

Giving Praise to 

A Rediscovered

Self.

(I'd once
forgot.)

_

So.. when you
see me in This
Madhouse,..
Ranting on about
The Death of Fallen
Stars..

Remember that
we're all Family..

Creating and 

Destroying..

Leaving Endless
Memories...

(and Scars.)

j.stephen.h.

ive found my soul-ape.

I've found My Soul-Ape.
__________________

Why..
I do believe
I've just found
my Soul-Ape.

My Unintended
Consequence which
happens to complete
Me.

This Pretty falling
Star with a Sad,
Rebellious Face.

(Contrary to These
People-Sheep.)
_

If I picked Her
Flowers
she would Cry,
and ask me Why?,

I plucked them
from their Mothers
Womb to Die.

So I paint her
Pictures with my
Words instead.

(it seems a
Righteous
compromise.)
_

In this Jungle
it is Only Her
and I.

Along with
countless other
Beasts..

Who search
The Wilderness
Inside.

(and spread
Dysfunction like
Disease.)
_

Yes..
I think
I have truly
found my
Soul-Ape.

An Unintended
Consequence,
that others would
consider Fate.

This Angel
clone who thus
completes Me!

(and Ignores
The Devil in
My Face.)

j.stephen.h.

all good things with time do falter

All Good Things with Time do Falter.
______________________________

Love..
I gave up
long ago.

For there
is more
Honesty
in these
Hateful
Nights!

(than the
Day could
ever Know.)
_

I
put you
once upon
an Altar.

And saw
you as My
Only Purpose.

But
All Good
Things
with Time
do Falter!

( Revealing
they are
Worthless.)
_

Now I
look beyond
the Glamour.

and Ignore
My Unreliable
Past.

Using Logic
as a Hammer.

(which breaks
Your Brittle
Heart of Glass.)

j.stephen.h.