Josh letter

 site: 

bloggercom 

username: 

iustita_est_monstrum@yahoo.com 

Password: 

13monsters 

site: bloggercom (or blogspot. Either works)

username hennesseejeremy@gmail.com

Password : Monsters13

+++

Thats most of the poetry and other miscellaneous shit I've written over a 30 yr span. Some who've read it seem to be of the critical opinion there is some Aesthetic Value to it. 

Fuck who knows. 

Perhaps it's all bullshit?...

(Or even-still , perhaps EVERYTHING is bullshit, and that's why much of it resonates so much with A General Reading Audience. 

(guess you'll see.)

*

Only access it if something

happens though. and message that Sanjid_13@gmail account and type: Triskaideka. (for confirmation or My Crossing and your Identity.)

My Magickal Essays will soon thereafter get sent to you by same user: (Sanjid_13@gmail )

it'll probably be a ghosted mailer. DON'T try to search it on any engines or it will fuck up your phone.(also Only engage if he engages you first. Speak when spoken to.)

*

I 

Love you buddy. Sorry man.

I'm fighting it. But..godamn.

Shits a bit rougher this time. So...it's 

A *50/50 "just in case" type message.

*

I've never been one for.. Melodramatic At The Brink of Death Speeches. They seem corny in the old movies, and I imagine they'd very likely fall short in Reality. 

You mention often that I've taught you a lot. And I'm glad you've paid some attention. Some Lessons are Harder, and HURT more than others, and some only really apply to The Individual in Question. (It's up to you to figure out which is which.)

But really kid,..you've taught me Just as Much if not MORE about many things that I personally missed out on in my own youth.. for various reasons ill not bother to list. And if not for THOSE lessons, I probably wouldn't have even made it This Far Josh. 

I didn't always say or do the right shit, and I don't now. Not by a fucking Long-Shot buddy..but hell, Nobody does. Or nobody I ever knew or know. We're ALL somewhat broken and flawed beings to some degree. 

What matters is we TRY. 

We all have to try to To be better For Other and better THAN Our Current Selves. And that is a process that lives and thrives and effects/changes things much LONGER than any One Individual Life. 

*

It's understandable and GOOD for one to set up *Altars To The Departed.

 But..never for " Altars to The Dead." (You'll figure out the Difference on your own. But, for a mini-spoiler alert: *The Difference resides in Memories.* And how we use those memories in the process of our own Lives /how we treat others.) 

We All (or Most) have a lot to teach others, and a lot MORE to learn from each other. (and our * Self.*) And it's ALWAYS going to be a Beautiful/Tragic/Haunting/Sometimes-Painful, Neverending Process. To Declare some Dead is to take a Piss on Those GOOD Memories that made you the LOVING, kind, caring, compassionate MAN you're becoming. And YOU did all that shit. (You might've just taken a good note from me here or there and built from that.)

Alright well

. So much for the " no Melodramatic 50/50 if I'll live or Die " speech right.

Love you man.

Be good to YOURSELF. You deserve it.

You're what Tupac called a "Rose that Grew from Concrete " kid. 

Something that manages to flourish well in this pile of shit most of us are planted in.

TTYL

Blood pressure keeps being a cunt.