almost a year

Almost a Year.
(Brother.)
_____________

Your one Year Anniversary
is coming up.  21 days to go.
It's hard to believe it's almost
been a Year.

Almost a year of playing Old
Songs we once listened to.

Almost a Year of wondering
if I could have done anything
to Change it.

Almost a Year of watching your
Sons eyes fill with Sorrow at
the Mention of You.
_

Almost a year with these Memories
of your Blood on my Hands, and
Images of Bone Fragments littering
the dirty carpet.

(Almost a Year of wishing someone
else had cleaned up the Shit.)

_

Almost of Year wondering where
that Little Boy went who used to
follow me like a Puppy asking
questions about everything under
the Sun.

(Almost a Year spent searching for
the Bastard who Sold you The Gun.)

_

Almost a Year of Acid tears forcing
themselves through Eyes squeezed shut..
trying to Be strong when I feel weakened
by the Absurdity of The Universe.

(almost a Year of still seeing your
ashes spread Across A Field of Dirt.)

_

Almost a year of spending days and
nights on End trying to Drink away
The Pain of not KNOWING what
I'm supposed to DO.

(almost a Year of Wishing I had
Joined you.)

__

fuck it..

Almost an ETERNITY of ENDLESS
NIGHT.

(Hoping for the Light without Hope
There Will EVER be an END IN
SIGHT.)

fuck it...
Fuck it..
Almost a
Lifetime of Pain
and Plight.

J.Stephen.H.