without her

Without Her.
_____________

I'm 
trapped
in the 
Eternity
of this 
moment..

Eyes 
Scratched
Open..

Mind 
bleeding
Tragedies 
into The 
World.

(Drowning 
in the Waves 
of Loves Odd 
Ocean.)

Wondering
what it is
about This
Girl?!!

(who seems
to feed me
an Angel's 
Potion.)
_

Is it All 
a Silly 
Dream?...

With "Me"
a Thought..
contained in
The Mind of
some Never-
Ending Universe?

and 
If so..
Let it
Be!!

For every
other
Existence
would Be 
a Nightmare!!

(without Her.)

J.Stephen.H.

the house of realities

The House of 1,000 Realities.
_____________

Welcome to The
House of 1,000
Realities..
where Bold Men
come to burn away
the Banners of their
Sanity,

and surrender to
those voices in
their head...
which are oft
but mental fictions.

(yet sometimes
Spirits of The
Dead.)

I built this house
in a cave below
the mountain,
to represent all
things lost, or
hidden.

An ever flowing
subconscious
Fountain!

(where
Cosmic Truths
lie trapped
in Prison.)

ah, Dogma..it
is sincerely
the needle
which blinds
the inner eyes
of simple minded
sheep.

Who spend
their lives
asleep...

and blaming their
damnation on
a non-existent
Karma.

I pity them,
nearly as much
as those voices
of The Dead!

(who are
Living Fictions
in My Head.)
__

Welcome to
The House of
1,000 Realities,

where Found
Men come to
Burn the Banners
of their Sanity...

and see,..clearly!

(what the world
within could be.)

j.stephen.h.

in spite the villainy of themselves.

In Spite the Villainy of Themselves.

_________________________

(This Is What My
Subconscious Reveals.):

One part loss 

of innocence..

(two parts 

corruption at the

hands of time...)

and three degrees of

Chaos indestructible...

all proven to be folly,

when she sighs words

from that secret place in

her mind, where angels

dance with fools and

lick their wounds till

they become jolly

once again...Laughing

at Pain like Heroes

in Love Who (in spite

the Villainy of 

Themselves)

fine something Perfect

in One Another...

To Save...

and Taste...

and Savor.

I Cherish these moments

when I Bloom for You...

LIKE YOU...

a Whisper in a Voiceless

Room who speaks on it's

own behalf, while drowning

in a Sea of Blind Eyes

who could never see what

lurks behind the Madness

we make of Loves Sweet

Sanity!

I've admitted defeat more

often than Love, and this

often defeats me...

because I 've surrendered to

that innate impulse to KNOW
what motivates a Thorn..

moreso than Some Happy
Rose...

who's cheeks are flushed...

like Snake-berries crushed

into A Sour Wine of
Multi-Seasonal Sorrow.

One Part Salvation Now!...

Two Parts curiosity...

(and eternal satisfaction

in the inevitability of our

Soul's Embracing.)

J.Stephen.H.

many coffins i have known.

many coffins i have known.
__________________

Many Coffins
I Have known..
Many Dungeons,
Pits, and Cells..

Yet I've
ALWAYS
Come Out
Alive.
(Alone.)

(Chewing on
The Nails.)

The Shadows
are My Favorite
Bedfellows..

we Dance
Merrily in
Hell Each
Night..!

In Spite of
Angels who
scoff and
Bellow.

(Tis THEY
who shall
Never KNOW
Delight.)

J.Stephen.H.

an artist of merit.

an artist of merit.
_____________

Ah..yes...I'm Successful
now. An Artist of Merit
lauded for his "genius".

(but should I bother to
mention that it's just
a series of cleverly
constructed rantings
which perpetually
baffle me?)

Gentlemen..Please,..
There's No Need
for the Red
carpet..

The color red tastes
ugly to me..

and leaves a shitty taste
on my tongue for weeks...
like stale love left out
in the sun for too long.

(until it acquires the stench
of Rotted Meat.)


oh..but
They Love
Me!!

(Yay...)

Well
It's good
to be
Loved..

(I guess.)

Love is a Drug...
(better than Hugs..)
that I Snort in lines..
and drink like wine...

Before Killing it
Deader Than Time!

(because the
withdrawals
are a bitch.)

j.s.h.

Love. (and it's many Compositions.)

Love. (and it's many compositions.)
________________________

Love
(and its
many compositions)
is ill-defined
by mere words,
poetry, and
Superstitions..

For it is
(at core)
A Matter of
Self Conviction..

which may sooth
and mend the
Savage Soul!

(but Sometimes
lead it to Perdition.)

Tis often a
Sacred, Noble
Force,

capable of
leaving the
Strongest Panting..

but At Times
a Shadows Grim
Discourse!

(seeking an
Audience to
it's Ranting.)

Lo..The Human
Head (from many
angles) I have
seen!,..

The Right...
Wrong, and
Somewhere-in-
Between!

Yet Never have
I met an Angel!

(who could
Silence thus
MY Endless
Screams.)

I know (now)
Love...Thou
TRULY HATE
ME..

but why can
I No Longer
Grieve?..

It seems my
Soul is quickly
fading!

(with HELL
the only thing
I can Believe.)

J.Stephen.H.

soap box pulpit

Soap Box Pulpit.
________________

She looks so Beautiful up there
on Her Soap-Box Pulpit. Preaching
Love's Hell to Fellow Broken Hearted
Souls.

A Goddess really. Unfortunate enough
to Love some Tyrant. (who filled her
Head with so many Rotten Holes.)

The denial in those Pretty Eyes is
masked well by her contrived indifference
towards Him. But everyone knows her
Soul still aches to be mended by His
Poisoned Touch,..and this little Hate
Speech she now performs is a Farce
to conceal the intensity of Her Burning
Love.

I watch in sad amusement from the silence
of my Lonely State,..likely the only spectator
who knows the depths of Truth she keeps
contained within that Shredded Heart...

Yet I'll never speak up again, or bother
trying to change anything.

(Being that I Am The Monster Who
Tore It Apart.)

J.Stephen.H.

a lyrical god

A Lyrical God.
____________

It must be a
new trend to
see how lame
and unmetrical
one can be, in
the composition
of (supposed)
Poetry.

Eliot Laughs.

(but Longfellow
Weeps.)

shit..
I've heard
children on
the playground
utter more
lyrical sounds
than some of
this nonsense
now coming
around.

see here
now little
Miss Peep...

Try to compete
with my metrical
feats and I'll
see to it quick
that you always
get Beat.

For I little
lamb am a
Lyrical God,
and your efforts
are damned.

(by the Fact you're
a FRAUD.)

J.Stephen.H.

miserable to be the stone

Miserable to Be The Stone.
___________________

It seems as though
the part of me that
was beginning to
feel again has faded
back into the cold
recesses of My Head.

Why must I pick
apart the world
like a scab?

Surrounding myself
with The Dead.

Unable to smile
or laugh.

Must it all be a
"process" for me?

Mechanical
simulations going
through various
Motions within
a Vast Machine?

Void of anything
which resembles
or constitutes
"Soul."

It's miserable
to Be The Stone
I once found
Comfort In.

(Damned by
The same
Indifference
that I once
Extolled.)

j.stephen.h.

almost a year

Almost a Year.
(Brother.)
_____________

Your one Year Anniversary
is coming up.  21 days to go.
It's hard to believe it's almost
been a Year.

Almost a year of playing Old
Songs we once listened to.

Almost a Year of wondering
if I could have done anything
to Change it.

Almost a Year of watching your
Sons eyes fill with Sorrow at
the Mention of You.
_

Almost a year with these Memories
of your Blood on my Hands, and
Images of Bone Fragments littering
the dirty carpet.

(Almost a Year of wishing someone
else had cleaned up the Shit.)

_

Almost of Year wondering where
that Little Boy went who used to
follow me like a Puppy asking
questions about everything under
the Sun.

(Almost a Year spent searching for
the Bastard who Sold you The Gun.)

_

Almost a Year of Acid tears forcing
themselves through Eyes squeezed shut..
trying to Be strong when I feel weakened
by the Absurdity of The Universe.

(almost a Year of still seeing your
ashes spread Across A Field of Dirt.)

_

Almost a year of spending days and
nights on End trying to Drink away
The Pain of not KNOWING what
I'm supposed to DO.

(almost a Year of Wishing I had
Joined you.)

__

fuck it..

Almost an ETERNITY of ENDLESS
NIGHT.

(Hoping for the Light without Hope
There Will EVER be an END IN
SIGHT.)

fuck it...
Fuck it..
Almost a
Lifetime of Pain
and Plight.

J.Stephen.H.

my soul such beauty tempts.

My Soul Such Beauty Tempts.

___________________

Tis a Madness..

Yes!..A Madness

to be Sure. 

(but Purity  

nonetheless.)

As I sit in

Silence waiting

to Procure..

another Soul to

Tempt.

(and test.)

Who is this

Angel in Human

Guise?

With Raven's

Hair, and

Emerald Eyes?

I've never

(till this 

moment)

seen such

Perfection 

before!!

(this Side of

Paradise.)

Tis Madness..

Yes!..Madness

to Be Certain.

(but LOVE
nonetheless.)

As I sit

Behind Deaths

Onyx Curtain..

waiting to

Confess.

That it is

"MY SOUL" 

This Beauty 

sorely Tempts!

So Be Proud Thus...

Thou Angel born

of Heavens Highest

Level!

(Because You have

single handedly

stolen the Heart

Of The Devil.)

J.Stephen.H.

upon a minds abandon

Upon A Minds Abandon.
____________________

This Morning
(upon a Minds
Abandon)
I saw (within
My Soul's Eye)
A Hateful Phantom..
Who pointed at
The Broken Clock,
and Made a Wish.
(for Me To Die.)
_

The Sorrow that
I Laughed echoed
(unproductively)
off Crimson Walls
of Superficial Shame;
As The Many
Merry Minions of
My Faith (concealed
as Misery) sought
Other Souls on
which to Feast!!
(and Blame.)
__

Mmm...Insanity
for Breakfast...
A Feast befit The
Depressive King
of Cynical Comedy!!

Tis He who Hangs
The Mighty Heroes
on That Tree of
Destiny.

(from Their Crooked
Puppet Strings.)

But it is Tasteless..
Tasteless!!...
This Predictable Plot.
(so Seasoned with Irony)
For Every Puppet Looks
like Me!!

Dead Men who's
Ivory Faces never
Rot.

(though Their Hearts
No Longer Bleed.)

J.Stephen.H.

tonight the grim reality

Tonight the Grim Reality.
___________________

Hell, who
am I kidding.
I'll never get
over You.

You takes
stabs at me,
I take stabs
back..

With Every
thought
inside me
burning..

(and My
Heart beat
inexact.)

You really
are so petty
you know..

and I'm
really an
asshole.

But the
distance
increases
my sorrow,
and stains
me to The
Soul.

Bellus
Angelus
no More
I guess..

Now
Amorous
Enemy!

Last week?
Words of
Tenderness.

Tonight...
(The Grim
Reality.)
_

XIII

black heart darkly beautiful

Black Heart Darkly Beautiful.
_________

It's
So pitiful..
and
childishly
un-metrical..
how you
bring your
Business
before The
World.

(and make
yourself a
spectacle.)

"Woe is
me?"..

No...

Woe to
Thee!!

(All Hearts
and Minds
Are Edible.)
__

Tis' a
Weakness
to Be Sure..

to feel
The sting
of every
Syllable..

while
casting the
Illusion You
are Pure!

When in
Truth you're
Unoriginal..

And lack
the Courage
to Endure.

(A Black
Heart Darkly
Beautiful.)
_


(I suggest
Warring with
less capable
Artists next
time around.)

XIII

the 666th psalm

The 666th Psalm.
_____________

Pain is My Shepherd,
I shall not Want.

It maketh me to lie
down in Burning
Pastures...

It leadeth beside
The Dead Waters.

(It corrupteth my
Soul.)

It leadeth me in the
Path of Darkness
for Hell's Namesake.
_

Ye as I stalk
through The valley
of The Shadow of
Sin..

I Shall Fear no
Evil...

For it is "In"
Me.

Thy Pitchfork and
Horn shall comfort
Me..

Thou preparest A
Palace before to
Punish My Enemies...

Thou annointest
my Head with
Fire..

My Chablis
runneth over..

so that
Surely Wickedness
and Pestilence
shall follow me
all the days of
My Life,

and I WILL
Rule in the
house of
DEATH..

Forever...

Amen
(Nema)..

XIII

the damned ones feast

The Damned Ones Feast.
_________________

What is She?
(I ask confused)
Love's Silhouette.
(or Heartless Muse.)
The Last regret!!
(of a Soul Abused.)

I Tried to
walk a Better
Path, and see
The Shining Sun,
but Evil stains
My Head of Wrath.
(and Poisons Everyone.)
_

Thus All
are Sheep,
before my
Slaughter,
The Damned
Ones Feast!!

(washed down
with Holy Water.)

XIII

the sanest of all.

The Sanest of All.
______________

Tis the Sanest
of All who gives
Those Twilight
Voices their moment
in The Sun,

and Dances with
Misery at The
Madman's Ball!

(plucking the Wings
from Angels All
in Fun.)
_

Spare ME Love
your Hopeful Wishes,..
for the Stars No
Longer Listen..

and Hell fills
Every Vision!!

(while Slit Wrists
by Firelight glisten.)

_

Hear now
The
Words of
Ancients
Spoken,..

Over a
Burning
Circle
Broken..

Then Swim
with Me My
Fellow
Damned!,..

across This
Crimson
Ocean.

(littered with
The Corpses
of Dead Lambs.)
_

For..it is The
Sanest of All
who Admits,
(with Gladness)

That Love
Infects The
World With
Madness.

J.Stephen.H.

the 1 percenters

The 1 percenters.
_______________

What exactly is
wrong with these
1 percenters?..

(aside from the
likely reality
they are 99%
Flawed.)

And why do
many crave
to know that
Life Least
Lived in
service of
Others?

(while hiding
behind an
accumulation
of Senseless
Laws.)
__

There are no
Stars upon the
Earth in Rule..

they are mere
Clods of dirt
who artificially
Shine..

as Wisdom
proceeds
from the Lips
of Those
said to
be Fools!

(who preach
that within
each is found
A Paradise.)
_

I shall cast
no Pearly
Lots before
thee..

Oh Noble
Swine..

Idolators..

Perpetuators of
heresy!

(who have yet
to see the Great
Divine.)

I simply look..
listen..and
observe..

(A Childish wisdom
which if heeded
would allow us
ALL TO Shine.)

j.stephen.h.